Shocking story of Malawian child bride forced into marriage with a feckless drunk

Myness,15, is a beneficiary of Plan's child protection programme in Malawi, she was rescued from her marriage and resettled back to school
In northern Malawi the practice of marrying off teenage girls aged under 18 to older men who pay large dowries has been common for many years. In the past, many community members even considered girls as a source of wealth. Due to the widespread issue of child marriage and children dropping out of school in the area, Plan Malawi trained and supported communities to set up child protection committees in Karonga district. Myness, now 15 years old, is a beneficiary of the programme. She was rescued from her marriage and resettled back to school. The young girl has been living with her grandmother since she started school because her parents, who live in another village, struggled to care for her and four other siblings due to poverty. Even though she moved to stay with her grandmother, she would skip school because she could not afford to pay her school fees. âÂÂIt happened when I was only 13 years old. My friend who had already found herself a husband convinced me into marriage,â said Myness.

Myness, now 15 years old, was living with her grandmother when she first met the man who would become her husband.
‘It happened when I was only 13 years old,’ she remembers. ‘My friend who had already found herself a husband convinced me into marriage.’
Shocking though it might seem, Myness, then barely into her teens, had agreed to marry a man old enough to be her grandfather – and a feckless alcoholic to boot.
Extreme though it might seem, Myness is by no means unique. According to World Health Organisation figures, 14.2 million girls under the age of 15 are forced into marriage each year.
Most come from India, the Middle East, and like Myness herself, from sub-Saharan Africa – Niger, Chad, the Central African Republic and her home country of Malawi among them.
The consequences are appalling. Along with an education and childhood cut short, girls suffer a traumatic initiation into sexual relationships, are put at risk of domestic violence and STI’s, and have the chance of a career or better life taken away.
Worse, many also die in childbirth or from pregnancy-related complications – the leading cause of death for girls aged between 15 and 19 years old in developing countries, according to UN figures.
‘Child marriage is an appalling violation of human rights and robs girls of their education, health and long-term prospects,’ comments Babatunde Osotimehin, executive director of UNFPA.
‘A girl who is married as a child is one whose potential will not be fulfilled.’

For Myness, who lived in extreme poverty with her grandmother, the thought of swapping a life of hardship for that of a wife proved enough to convince her to give up school in order to marry.
‘One day my friend came to me and asked why I was suffering,’ she remembers. ‘Life was very difficult at home. We could not even afford soap.
‘My friend told me it would be better if I got married like her, so that my husband could take care of my needs.’
One day, she was approached by a much older man from her village who talked of giving her a better life – one where she’d never go hungry again.
‘He kept pursuing me to marry him,’ explains Myness. ‘He promised to take care of me, provide whatever I wanted, and after sitting for my grade eight exams I accepted.’
But life after her marriage was not what she was expected. Not only was her new husband an alcoholic, he squandered any money he earned – leaving his child bride hungry.
‘My husband was an alcoholic but because my grandmother was too poor to have me back, I decided to persevere in the marriage,’ she remembers.
‘He never kept any of his promises. When I asked him [about money], he told me he had already paid my dowry of 37,000 kwacha (approximately £65) and that was the money he would have used for my upkeep.
‘I regretted what I’d done – my wish was to continue with education, but then I was helpless and had no one to support me.’
Her grandmother, who had been reluctant to allow Myness to marry in the first place, was furious but says she didn’t know how to get her grandchild back.
But Myness’ fortunes took a turn for the better when her grade eight exam results, which included passes in every subject, were released to her grandmother.
‘I cried when I received the good news about my grandchild’s performance,’ she reveals. ‘I was happy, yet disturbed as I didn’t know what to do.

‘I went back to school and talked to the teacher who advised me to seek help from the Child Protection Committee in our village to bring Myness back home.’
Horrified by Myness’ tender age, the Child Protection Committee, trained by children’s charity Plan International, swung into action and traced the schoolgirl to her husband’s house.
‘I was at home when some people [the child protection committee members] came and asked me if I was aware that I passed my exams and had been selected to join one of the best schools in my district,’ remembers Myness.
‘They promised to contribute part of my school fee and I decided to run away while my husband was away.
‘I was afraid and thought he would come looking for me, but I have never seen him. The committee contributed some money and paid part of my school fee.’
And Myness is by no means alone. Malawi remains a country with a high number of child brides, with girls living in the north of the country at a particularly high risk of being married off to anyone who can afford their dowry.

Recently, however, tribal leaders have introduced new rules to try and reduce the number of child brides from the area and encourage more to stay in school.
‘In the past, we had our own cultures that allowed us to take a girl to a man without any question, whether young or at any age,’ explains Mackson Mwakaboko, a traditional leader from the Karonga province.
‘The girl could be referred to as wealth. If a girl was born in a family, the father considered himself as rich.’
But with fines of up to 60,000 kwacha (£87) for anyone who forces a child to marry, all that could be about to change.
‘Many people are afraid of breaking them because they fear the consequences as they feel the penalties are too high that they cannot afford,’ adds Mackson.
While many child brides suffer irreparable damage, for Myness, now 15, her story has a happy ending.
‘I’m happy I returned to school, even though there may be challenges. Some day,’ she adds determinedly, ‘I will be an accountant.

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The end of childhood: A child bride is pictured in Tanzania. Alemtsayhe Gebrekidan has told of how she suffered a similar fate when she married age 10

‘Recently, two of my friends at school were planning to get married, but I discouraged them,’ she adds.
‘I told them my story, and they stopped all the marriage preparations and chose to continue with education.’
Commenting on the case, Tanya Barron, CEO of global children’s rights charity, Plan UK, said: ‘Child marriage is a pernicious practice, which denies millions of girls their futures.
‘We know that girls who marry young are more likely to experience violence, abuse and forced sexual relations. They are also more likely to experience poor sexual and reproductive health, and more likely to drop out of school.
‘Improving education and school retention for girls plays a crucial role in preventing early and forced marriage, and therefore helping to end the cycle of poverty and powerlessness that it causes.’

Source|Daily mail

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Author:

Have you ever had a dream of a young child torn away from her mother and given away in marriage to a man old enough to be her great grandfather? Yeah, that was the kind of nightmare i woke up to at 2.00 am . Her screams echoes at every corner of my room,keeps me awake until dawn and gave me this burden in my heart to do something about it...I came up with the solution that if we could help this young child's mother to be self-reliant to be able to take care of her...even educate her, she will not end up in child marriage since her family will not need to borrow money from these Shylocks who want a pound of flesh of their offspring.Call me a dreamer...I won't stop until the nightmare is over. Wish me luck !

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